About Dr. Fiore
During the last 30 years, I've learned a lot about the keys to a happy marriage
Like you, perhaps, I had serious questions about my first marriage.
I was questioning the future of my marriage and what I could do to try to improve
it...
We're not alone. In my 30 years of professional practice, I've worked with hundreds
of couples-individually, and together-and helped organizations of all sizes resolve
personal conflicts.
I've taught over 1,000 anger management classes in Southern California. I also co-created
a new model of anger management and self-development led to the creation of leading
certification program used by anger management professionals around the country.
What I've found
I summarize my 3 decades of research, counseling, and personal experience, as follows:
- There are 8 keys to happy marriages.
- Anger is often present in troubled relationships.
- Although not all relationships can be saved, most can be improved.
Perspective
I'm a pragmatist. "Theories," in themselves, don't help couples. What does help
couples, however, is acquiring marital education, new marital skills, and learning
when and how to apply them. There may not be "silver bullets" that can restore happiness
to every marriage, but there are steps that can be taken to lesson the pain and
frustration of an unhappy marriage and pave the way for a happier future.
Anger and Marriage
In my experience, anger is frequently present in unhappy marriages, where-if untreated-it
can destroy careers, lives, and relationships. It's perhaps inevitable that anger
shows up in today's challenging world, where there's always congestion, competition,
obligations, and limited resources.
The stresses of the world frequently translate to anger in the marriage. Anger that
can't be expressed--like anger about the boss, the traffic, or the economy--becomes
anger expressed towards the marital partner.
Expressions of Anger
Many of us are familiar with explosive, abusive, anger from episodes of television
reality shows like Cops, but the subtler forms of anger in a marriage can be just
as corrosive.
"Negative" anger can take insidious, hidden forms, like emotional detachment (failure
to communicate) or other forms of negative communication, (such as constantly belittling
the partner), constant comparisons, or undue sensitivity (i.e., looking for a fight
in everything the partner says).
Anger quickly turns disagreement into disaster!
But, rapid progress can take place when angry, confrontational styles are replaced
with more positive ways of dealing with both simple and complex marital issues.
What Can be Done About an Unhappy Marriage?
Sometimes, nothing can be done. (That's the conclusion my first wife and I came
to.) The scenario is frequently painful and drawn out, but does offer partners a
chance to rebuild. (I've been happily remarried for over 22 years.)
But, more often, it's possible for partners-or, even, in some cases, just one of
the partners-to take positive steps that can improve the situation at home and contribute
to a positive outcome, i.e., a happy marriage.
By enrolling in my Marriage Class Online course, you have already taken the first
step towards a happier marriage.
I encourage you to immediately begin exploring the ideas and tools described in
the Lesson One. It describes the first key to a happy marriage. Take read, review,
and reflect it, and take the self-scoring quiz. Encourage your partner to do the
same.
The Missing Link
Marriage Class Online has a proven record of success with all types of couples,
from all parts of the country, from every type of economic and educational background.
The one thing we couldn't build into Marriage Class Online is commitment-your commitment.
There are lots of different ways to put the materials to work, working individually,
scheduling time for joint study, etc.-but everything depends on your commitment
to get started and move forward-one key at a time.
Don't wait till "later," or tomorrow. Start now.
With my best wishes...
Dr. Tony
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