Four Warning Signs That Your Relationship May be in Trouble
Dr. Tony Fiore, Marriage Class Online.com
According to extensive research at the famed Gottman Institute in Seattle, Washington,
there are four warning signs that predict divorce with a high degree of accuracy.
Dr Gottman calls these "The Four horsemen of the Apocalypse". We have created the
following checklists so you can measure these warning signs in your relationship
and administer the antidotes before things get out of hand!
Instructions: Rate each patterns below, indicating how often it has occurred in
your relationship in the last thirty days: Frequently-4, Often-3, Once in a while-2
or Never-1
Warning Sign #1 : Stonewalling
How to Score
If you scored:
Between 1-10 you probably are not in trouble in this area
Between 11-14 you may have some concerns in this area
Between 15-20 you probably should do things to improve your relationship
in this area
The Antidote For Stonewalling:
If Stonewalling is the problem, you should learn to sooth yourself during a relationship
battle or conflict, instead of just stuffing your negative feelings, or
simply cutting yourself off from all feelings. Research shows that stonewallers
are having a lot of conflict and angst inside: they just are not showing it. Sooth
yourself by taking in deep breaths, exercising, listening to music, etc. Just try
to somehow reduce your stress so you can deal with the issue.
Progress
Stonewalling | Criticizing
| Defensiveness |
Contempt | Complete
|