What Do Couples Fight Over?

 In a famous study called the Framingham study which evaluated nearly 4000 men and women, mena and women differed on what they say they fight about mostly in their marriage. 

Women ranked conflicts as follows:

#1- Children

#2- Sex

#3 - Housework

#4- Money

#5 - Leisure

#6- Alcohol

Men ranked their reasons for fighting as follows:

#1-  Sex

#2 - Money

#3- Lesiure

#4 - Children

#5 - Alcohol

#6- Housework

Obvioulsy, men and women disagree on what they are fighting about while they are fighting! But, agreement on issues, even on what the issues are, is not a necessary requirement for a good marriage. While it is good to try and get along and improve relationship, reaching agreement is not essential to marital happiness.  Marital compatibility comes and goes; rarely is a couple compatible all the time. What is essential is accepting the fact that you and your partner may never agree on certain issues and that does not make one of you superior to the other.

What do you fight over? What mechanisms do you have to resolve differences that can be resolved, or, accept those that cannot? 

It might be helpful for both your and your partner to make a list separately and then compare them. One of the first steps toward solving marital issues is to at least try to agree on what they are!




clock September 7, 2011 02:50 by author Dr Tony Fiore