Four Warning Signs That Your Relationship May be in Trouble
Dr. Tony Fiore, Marriage Class Online.com
According to extensive research at the famed Gottman Institute in Seattle, Washington,
there are four warning signs that predict divorce with a high degree of accuracy.
Dr Gottman calls these "The Four horsemen of the Apocalypse". We have created the
following checklists so you can measure these warning signs in your relationship
and administer the antidotes before things get out of hand!
Instructions: Rate each patterns below, indicating how often it has occurred in
your relationship in the last thirty days: Frequently-4, Often-3, Once in a while-2
or Never-1
Warning Sign #1 : Contempt
How to Score
If you scored:
Between 1-10 you probably are not in trouble in this area
Between 11-14 you may have some concerns in this area
Between 15-20 you probably should do things to improve your relationship
in this area
The Antidote For Contempt:
Contempt involves thinking that one's values, preferences or viewpoints are better
or more correct than those of one's partner in any given situation. Or, it may involve
the tendency to think of one as better (more mature, more responsible, less selfish,
less to blame) than one's partner. The antidote is to build an atmosphere of appreciation.
In successful marriages, there is almost no contempt with partners valuing the opinions
and input of the other. Rather than judging the other or "looking down" at the other,
successful couples convey that they appreciate the other. They avoid hurtful criticism
or negative judgments of the other or how the other does things or thinks about
things.
Progress
Stonewalling | Criticizing | Defensiveness | Contempt | Complete
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